Before we start talking about the toxic love, let’s firstly address what love is. We often forget amid the happily-ever-afters in love stories and the temporary high of being in love, that love is not butterflies and rainbows all the time. In fact, love is more often than not, hard work. It’s making a choice every day to be with someone, through the good and the bad. Love is sacrifice and patience and compromise. So when we talk about toxic love, it’s not just referring to a bad relationship, but a poisonous one.
A toxic relationship is one that is damaging to your mental and physical health. It’s a relationship that is emotionally and/or physically abusive. It’s a relationship that is incredibly harmful to your self-esteem and sense of worth. In short, a toxic relationship is one that is not good for you.
Toxic relationships are often spotted by these red flags:
Your partner is constantly putting you down, making you feel bad about yourself.
Your partner is incredibly possessive and jealous.
Your partner is always trying to control you and tell you what to do.
Your partner is physically abusive.
Your partner is emotionally abusive.
You feel like you’re always walking on eggshells around your partner.
You feel like you’re not good enough for your partner.
You feel like you’re not yourself when you’re with your partner.
If any of these red flags are present in your relationship, it’s time to take a step back and assess the situation. A lot of times, we can be in denial about the toxicity of our relationships because we don’t want to admit that the person we love is capable of hurt us so much. We convince ourselves that they must really love us if they’re still with us, despite all the red flags.
But we have to remember that just because someone loves us, doesn’t mean they’re good for us. Just because someone is with us, doesn’t mean we’re in a healthy, functional relationship.
If you’re in a toxic relationship, the first step is to recognize it. The second step is to seek help. This might mean going to therapy, talking to a trusted friend or family member, or reading self-help books on the subject. The most important thing is to reach out for help so you can start to address the toxicity in your relationship.
Toxic love is not love. It’s not something to be tolerated or endured. It’s something to be aware of and something to be avoided. By recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship, you can save yourself a lot of heartache and pain.
