We now live in a world where technology is killing love. It seems like every other day, there’s a new article or study that’s come out linking social media and electronics to depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders. But what about love? How is technology killing the very thing that makes us human?
It’s no secret that relationships are harder than ever before. With the advent of dating apps and social media, we now have an unprecedented ability to connect with people around the world. But at the same time, we’re more disconnected than ever before.
A study published in the journal Emerging Adulthood found that social media is linked to lower levels of satisfaction in relationships. The study surveyed young adults aged 18-25 and found that those who used social media the most were more likely to report higher levels of conflict in their relationships and lower levels of satisfaction.
Another study, this one published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, found that couples who use their phones while they’re together are less likely to be satisfied with their relationship. The study found that couples who used their phones in the presence of their partner felt less connected to them and were more likely to report relationship problems.
And it’s not just studies that show how technology is killing love, we can see it in our own lives. How many times have you been on a date only to have your date check their phone every few minutes? How many times have you been in a conversation only to have the other personSuddenly, our attention is always elsewhere. We’re always looking for the next best thing, the next most interesting thing. And in the process, we’re missing out on the thing that’s right in front of us.
We’re losing the ability to be present, to be in the moment. And that’s a problem because being present and in the moment is how we connect with others. It’s how we build intimacy and closeness.
Think about the last time you were truly present with someone. Maybe it was when you were out on a date and you were fully focused on the person in front of you. Or maybe it was when you were having a conversation with a friend and you were really listening to them.
In those moments, you may have felt a deep connection with the other person. That’s because when we’re present, we’re open and vulnerable. We’re not thinking about what we’re going to say next, we’re not thinking about our to-do list, we’re not thinking about anything except for the person in front of us.
And that’s how true connection is built.
But if we’re always somewhere else, always thinking about something else, we’re never going to be able to build that kind of connection. We’re never going to be able to build the kind of intimacy and closeness that we need in order to have a happy and healthy relationship.
So how can we break this cycle? How can we break free from the constant barrage of technology and reconnect with the people we love?
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Put your phone away.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth repeating. When you’re with someone, put your phone away. Resist the urge to check it every few minutes. Be present in the moment and really focus on the person in front of you.
2. Make face-to-face time a priority.
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to forget the importance of face-to-face time. We’re always so busy and there’s always so much to do. But if we want to reconnect with the people we love, we need to make face-to-face time a priority.
3. Talk about your screen time.
If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about your screen time. Set some ground rules about when and where you can use your phone. Maybe you agree to put your phones away during dinner or when you’re spending time together.
4. Be intentional about your time together.
When you’re with someone, be intentional about your time together. Don’t just mindlessly scroll through your newsfeed or play games on your phone. Take the time to talk and really connect with the person you’re with.
5. Take a break from social media.
If you’re finding that social media is causing problems in your relationships, take a break from it. Delete the apps from your phone or take a break from using them altogether. See how it feels to disconnect from the constant stream of information and see if it makes a difference in your relationships.
Technology is killing love. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can choose to be present and connect with the people we love. We can choose to put our phones away and really be in the moment. We can choose to make face-to-face time a priority.
It’s up to us to decide how we want to use technology. We can let it kill love or we can use it to strengthen our relationships. The choice is ours.
